expiry and unrest in tupperware

It was starting to get mouldy inside the plastic trap of the 1.2 L Tupperware which was abandoned on the bottom rack of Rona’s mini-fridge; hidden snugly behind boxes of take out food. The sickly inhabitants of Tupperware, typical ingredients of Greek Salad, soon became conscious of the plague that was slowly deteriorating them.

The Onion was the first one to wake up from the doom and apathy of the vicious cycle of decomposition and re-composition in Tupperware. He looked around incisively at his troubled surroundings. “Sssquishy, ssssslimy, rrrrreeking of deafth, or closeness to deafffth...” he mumbled to himself, in a dialect that was only understandable to him. All corners of Tupperware were occupied with vegetables on the verge of moulding and unaware; Parsley and Tomato stuck together, intoxicated with Vinegar and Lemon Juice; Bell Pepper was lonely, intact and smelling like old age; Cucumber was passed out, unconscious and all over the place.

Amongst all the vegetables in the salad, Onion’s presence was like that of a predator in a forest. If he was an animal, he’d be a Cheetah, sharp and alert. At least that was what he wanted to believe. If he was human, he’d be a leader. If he was a vegetable, which in fact, he was, he’d just be Himself, Onion. He was layered, smelly and succulent with bitter juice which could make every women or men cry even at situations when they were armed with kitchen weapons. His odour was the most prominent, his taste was the most practical and adaptable to a variety of surroundings. He gathered all his chops together in a haste, with utter self-confidence and announced, from the centre of Tupperware; “Wwwake up veejjstebles, wake up you sssssmelly, sss-inorganic, unaware, self-centred creatures...” he pushed away the softened, unconscious cucumbers. “It’ss time we seee, that we are dying. It’s time to wake up. It’ss time we overthhrow whatever this is...It’s tiiimee that we shhhh....” Cucumber cut in, and stopped the motivational speech of Onion, vocalizing himself disdainfully from all his chops that were dispersed around the container; “Stop your patriotic bullshit. Just, suck some mold and sleep! We will all one day, become obsolete.” All Cucumber chunks went back to their original posture after their slur echoed in the container, and infused themselves into Vinegar and Lemon Juice. While this interaction happened, Tomatoes and Parsley were indifferent, in the frenzy of their passionate love affair, but the Bell Pepper was contemplative, lonely, aware, but still.

After diligent contemplation, fueled with Vinegar and Lemon Juice, Bell Pepper spoke very slowly with his tenor voice, articulating each word clearly. He realized that not every vegetable in this container was equally smart, so he tried to use his simplest vocabulary to inform the crowd and notify them of the danger that was approaching; “Vegetables, the Onion might be right.” he said and paused to take a gulp of Vinegar and Lemon Juice. The acidity of the mixture cleared his throat and allowed him to speak with a higher pitch; “We are rotting”, he took another gulp. All attention was his, all vegetables were suddenly awake. Onion was listening with his eyes fixed on the ceiling, jealous and contemptuous of Pepper’s superseding abilities of speech. Ornate Tomato and sleazy Parsley were holding each other’s hands, trying to understand the seriousness of the situation, noticeably respecting Pepper’s words more than Onion’s. Even the drunkard Cucumber was suddenly alert. “Pauses in speech, really do work” Bell Pepper thought, silently and wisely. Then spoke out loud again; “We should do something to save our generation, save our children, our chops, our nutrients. I propose that we hold a meeting immediately and choose ourselves a leader to resolve this issue and save us from the mortality of this plague. If we become one, maybe we can accomplish something. We are rotting.” He repeated “rotting” with a pronounced emphasis.

The word “rot” aroused fear in any vegetable no matter how existentially or circumstantially developed they were in their philosophies. Even the Cucumber who was buried in intoxication from pure Vinegar stared around himself like a rabbit.

Hearing the word “leader” from Bell Pepper’s calm, alarm-raising speech raised alarm in Onion of losing his status in Greek Salad. “I’ll be the leader” he jumped in, seeing himself as the “man of action” and Bell Pepper as “the man of contemplation.” Bell Pepper, who had enough understanding of vegetable psychology had already predicted this would happen, he replied to child-like Onion and others, maturely, “We should hold a vote and see what other vegetables think first. Then we will designate the role of every vegetable on helping to create a shelter which we can all keep living in.”

All vegetables were perplexed. They never before faced a situation like this where their decomposition, rotting or death was so imminent, and their desire to live was overwhelming. They did not know how they could make use of their chemistry to provide an afterlife for themselves. All they knew was that they could produce rancid, stinky mould when they were old and senile, but none of them other than the Bell Pepper thought it was possible to keep living at this ailing state. None of them other than Onion thought they could use power to implant this new form of life. None of them knew how to vote, or how to protect their rights at this crucial stage in Tupperware. Bell Pepper sensed vegetables’ lack of coordination and was wary of Onion who wanted to seize power. He opposed Onion’s proposition openly; “It should be a choice between you and me. We should let Tomato, Parsley and Cucumber decide between each other which one of us they see fit for this task”.

Onion was outraged. How could anyone, anyone like Bell Pepper could propose to oppose him? He did not want the bells to toll for Bell Pepper. He decided to do whatever he can to earn the vegetables’ hearts and minds. He started immediately with loud, pervasive speeches, that were so heartfelt and emotionally intense that made Tomato cry. “I’ll join your side” she remarked, with her soft, high-pitched voice. Parsley was surprised at how easily Tomato’s emotions were influenced and was confused about which side he should take. He believed that Onion was a charismatic leader; Bell Pepper on the other hand had a calmer intonation of a peacemaker. Which ideology would be more effective in this austere state of Greek Salad?

The emotional speech of Onion raised opposition and fury instead of unity, emphasized antagonism, instead of brotherhood between the vegetables. Bell Pepper had to step in to quieten this unrest, but Parsley,Tomato and Cucumber could not think rationally at this stage, when their life was in the hands of two possible leaders, two separate ideologies. They were in confusion, outrage, unrest, trying to decide which ideology would be more effective to save their lives, and keep on living, mating, drinking Vinegar and Lemon Juice. The essential instinct of survival was overwhelmed by the antagonism between Onion and Bell Pepper, and all vegetables started to take sides to define their lines by either being on the side of Bell Pepper or Onion. Parsley took the side of Bell Pepper as he was extremely jealous of how emotionally manipulative on his lover Onion was, and how he lost the love of his life to him. Cucumber negotiated with both sides on how much Vinegar and Lemon Juice he would get if he were to work for them. He started to work for Bell Pepper first, but was soon taken by Onion’s side which offered him more Vinegar than Bell Pepper could.

There was utter unrest, a disgraceful taste, a rancid unpleasant smell taking over Tupperware. The mould was getting bigger and more fatal with the increasing number of bleeding tomatoes and louder slogans of ideologies. Onion was the first to make destructive weapons using decomposed vegetables, Vinegar and lemon juice. This was soon followed by Bell Pepper who extracted smelly cores from Tomato chunks to kill more Parsley and neutralize the Cucumber. Soon all vegetables except for Onion and Bell Pepper were slimy, ineffective, and covered in mould, they were either used as weapons or killed by weapons made of themselves. There was silence. Onion and Bell Pepper looked at each other, standing on the field of plagued cadavers. “This ain’t no stalemate Pepper...” whispered Onion cruelly. His layers of onions were slowly becoming indistinct from each other to Pepper who was exhausted with slight mould on his heels. Both lacked energy and weapons. They had killed all vegetables anyways, and the essential plan of building a shelter was already overwhelmed by their battle.

In this moment of desolation, both heard a sudden loud noise followed by a humanly shriek. First Onion was scooped, then Bell Pepper. They found themselves in the fidgety interior of a black garbage bag, embraced in the mould they bombed their friends with.

Rona used copious amounts of dish soap to clean Tupperware of its stinky, self-replicating bacteria. All was dead. Tupperware was empty. She never left food in the fridge again, because all vegetables in fact, one way or another, became rotten or obsolete.